October 10, 2011
As a woman in the United States of America, I can honestly say that we have been plagued with insecurity and a misunderstanding of beauty. The most common cliché in pertinence to this subject is, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” and to which I would agree… for the most part. The problem with this statement, however, is who is our beholder? Who is this person so well deserving of defining the element of beauty? In my own understanding, the issue isn’t who the beholder is, but rather who we place in the blank. In our culture, we have given the undeserving honor to magazines and men and the people around us to determine whether or not we are beautiful. Some people say we are and some say we aren’t. Some see the outward and some go deep enough to see a beautiful heart, one which radiates through every area of life—the latter being my goal. But my dear friends, this conditional cliché lies true when the beholder is my God, the One in whom all beauty is defined, the only One worthy and eligible of being given such a place in our lives to convince us of this conditional truth. When the beholder is God, “Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder.” First Samuel 16:7, in my honest opinion, has become a Christian cliché for its frequency in being quoted but its lack of being believed.
But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already
eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks
into the heart." (The Message)
The version and part of the verse most quoted being, “Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.” Oh, if we would only believe it, ladies and gentlemen—yes, men too… we all have issues! I love the way The Message puts it, because sometimes we need scripture in layman’s terms. So many times we look at others or even ourselves and immediately judge based on the outward, and though this could go into many other conversations and writings on not judging for the lack of knowing the past and present of another’s life, I’m speaking in the context of beauty. We are so quick to look at a person and say, “Wow! She is just beautiful!” when her heart is black as tar! Then we look at the girl who seemingly pales in comparison and say, “Good grief! Bless her heart; she clearly couldn’t find anything better to wear” –key word being wear. We have falsely judged that girl by being the man God’s talking about in First Samuel, equating beauty with what she’s wearing.
If we place God as the base-keeper of being the Beholder, when we are given a compliment like the one I received this morning we can say, “Yes” not in being prideful, cocky, or conceited, but rather, in confidence that you know and believe God’s image and perception of you—beauty as a heart condition, beautiful as a reflection of the condition. Now, I am not saying don’t compliment people if you don’t know the condition of their heart. When you say to another, “You are beautiful,” seeing passed what they should or should not be, are or are not wearing based on what we have been taught to think and perceive in the nature of man and culture of America, it speaks in one accord with the Word of God, therefore building them up not tearing them down. On the same hand, we have to learn to build ourselves up too, not based on what we are wearing or what we look like on a particular day, but by the knowledge and understanding of what God says through His Word and sees through His eyes of love and grace.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me; this is a dual-sided life-long lesson. By understanding that God is the Ultimate Beholder and with a heart-based perception of beauty, that does NOT mean dress like a bum or carry yourself in such a manner. Matthew 6, I don’t think, was saying if you’re going on an interview where holey jeans and a dirty t-shirt; or it doesn’t matter what you look like, at the end of the day as long as you have clothes on you’re fine. On the contrary!—in my personal opinion, of course. If there is anything I’ve learned in the past two years, one would be that the way you dress and carry yourself does matter. One who is professional carries AND dresses himself (in general, not gender specific) as such. One who is an evangelist carries and dresses himself as such. Well, what if I don’t want to be a professional something or an evangelist? Do you plan on having a job? Do you want to give off the perception that you don’t care about yourself? Heck, do you want to get married?! The way you dress and carry yourself is equivalent to putting on deodorant before you leave every morning. Some things do enhance your beauty. If you have to paint the barn (ladies you know what I mean… and some of you men too), then so be it; take care of business… or just yourself, in this instance. A nice coat of paint never hurt anyone (haha… yes, I’m laughing at myself). Or maybe that means wake up with a little more time to do (brush, curl, straighten, etc.) your hair. Hey! It could mean wake up with more time than to just hop out of bed, slide on some shoes, and run out the door. You know what it means.
This ended up being much longer than I anticipated or than I thought I had words. But all I’m saying if abbreviated is this: let God be your beholder… but check your heart—‘cause if it’s ugly… well… hello!; (if you pass the test) believe you are beautiful; don’t judge others’ beauty or seeming lack-there-of on what they may look like that day; and lastly, take care of yourself—you are worth the beauty God beholds in you. Knowing and believing how He sees you not only changes the way others see you, but you’ll feel better too. I’m learning…
[Climbing off my high horse.] :)
beau·ty /ˈbyu ti / [byoo-tee] noun, plural -ties. 1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest). 2. a beautiful person, especially a woman.This morning as I was leaving class, one of my professors complimented me, “You look very pretty today.” “Thank you,” I naturally replied. However, that wasn’t the end of the conversation. Her follow-up response was, “You are a very beautiful lady. You do know that?” Out of her sight, I stood at the door-way and pondered the question, also naturally. “I’m learning,” I responded after thinking about what I was going to say. You see, I answered that way because, well… I am learning. I’m learning what beauty truly is. As women, especially in my generation, we have taken on a tainted definition of beauty, therefore, becoming unbalanced in our thinking. There are ladies that go over the top in preparation for their day, putting on an unrecognizable mask—under the impression that true beauty is only outward—where they don’t even look like themselves anymore; to the ladies who go au naturale with the mindset that the outward doesn’t matter at all; and it’s only the inside that counts. The problem with both ends is both impressions are unbalanced. Beauty starts on the inside but reflects on the outside. If we spoke in the truest sense of beauty, if you saw a woman who never did her hair or never even cracked a smile on her face, I’m pretty sure that first thing that would come to mind wouldn’t be, “Oh my! She is just beautiful!” Now, maybe I’m looking at the outside and unbalanced in my thinking, like I said, I, too, am learning. But I know that wouldn’t be my first thought.
As a woman in the United States of America, I can honestly say that we have been plagued with insecurity and a misunderstanding of beauty. The most common cliché in pertinence to this subject is, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” and to which I would agree… for the most part. The problem with this statement, however, is who is our beholder? Who is this person so well deserving of defining the element of beauty? In my own understanding, the issue isn’t who the beholder is, but rather who we place in the blank. In our culture, we have given the undeserving honor to magazines and men and the people around us to determine whether or not we are beautiful. Some people say we are and some say we aren’t. Some see the outward and some go deep enough to see a beautiful heart, one which radiates through every area of life—the latter being my goal. But my dear friends, this conditional cliché lies true when the beholder is my God, the One in whom all beauty is defined, the only One worthy and eligible of being given such a place in our lives to convince us of this conditional truth. When the beholder is God, “Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder.” First Samuel 16:7, in my honest opinion, has become a Christian cliché for its frequency in being quoted but its lack of being believed.
But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already
eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks
into the heart." (The Message)
The version and part of the verse most quoted being, “Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.” Oh, if we would only believe it, ladies and gentlemen—yes, men too… we all have issues! I love the way The Message puts it, because sometimes we need scripture in layman’s terms. So many times we look at others or even ourselves and immediately judge based on the outward, and though this could go into many other conversations and writings on not judging for the lack of knowing the past and present of another’s life, I’m speaking in the context of beauty. We are so quick to look at a person and say, “Wow! She is just beautiful!” when her heart is black as tar! Then we look at the girl who seemingly pales in comparison and say, “Good grief! Bless her heart; she clearly couldn’t find anything better to wear” –key word being wear. We have falsely judged that girl by being the man God’s talking about in First Samuel, equating beauty with what she’s wearing.
If we place God as the base-keeper of being the Beholder, when we are given a compliment like the one I received this morning we can say, “Yes” not in being prideful, cocky, or conceited, but rather, in confidence that you know and believe God’s image and perception of you—beauty as a heart condition, beautiful as a reflection of the condition. Now, I am not saying don’t compliment people if you don’t know the condition of their heart. When you say to another, “You are beautiful,” seeing passed what they should or should not be, are or are not wearing based on what we have been taught to think and perceive in the nature of man and culture of America, it speaks in one accord with the Word of God, therefore building them up not tearing them down. On the same hand, we have to learn to build ourselves up too, not based on what we are wearing or what we look like on a particular day, but by the knowledge and understanding of what God says through His Word and sees through His eyes of love and grace.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me; this is a dual-sided life-long lesson. By understanding that God is the Ultimate Beholder and with a heart-based perception of beauty, that does NOT mean dress like a bum or carry yourself in such a manner. Matthew 6, I don’t think, was saying if you’re going on an interview where holey jeans and a dirty t-shirt; or it doesn’t matter what you look like, at the end of the day as long as you have clothes on you’re fine. On the contrary!—in my personal opinion, of course. If there is anything I’ve learned in the past two years, one would be that the way you dress and carry yourself does matter. One who is professional carries AND dresses himself (in general, not gender specific) as such. One who is an evangelist carries and dresses himself as such. Well, what if I don’t want to be a professional something or an evangelist? Do you plan on having a job? Do you want to give off the perception that you don’t care about yourself? Heck, do you want to get married?! The way you dress and carry yourself is equivalent to putting on deodorant before you leave every morning. Some things do enhance your beauty. If you have to paint the barn (ladies you know what I mean… and some of you men too), then so be it; take care of business… or just yourself, in this instance. A nice coat of paint never hurt anyone (haha… yes, I’m laughing at myself). Or maybe that means wake up with a little more time to do (brush, curl, straighten, etc.) your hair. Hey! It could mean wake up with more time than to just hop out of bed, slide on some shoes, and run out the door. You know what it means.
This ended up being much longer than I anticipated or than I thought I had words. But all I’m saying if abbreviated is this: let God be your beholder… but check your heart—‘cause if it’s ugly… well… hello!; (if you pass the test) believe you are beautiful; don’t judge others’ beauty or seeming lack-there-of on what they may look like that day; and lastly, take care of yourself—you are worth the beauty God beholds in you. Knowing and believing how He sees you not only changes the way others see you, but you’ll feel better too. I’m learning…
[Climbing off my high horse.] :)
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