And my most recent post that was "featured" as a Guest Blog on my friend's blog [https://kristenmlowe.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/guest-blog-love-you-to-love-them/]...
September 6, 2015
Love You to Love Them
“Love your neighbor as yourself”… it’s not new. Whether you grew up in the church or not, we’ve heard at one point or another this phrase. You can’t have the New Testament without having the Old Testament… that’s where “loving your neighbor as yourself” came from. Leviticus—the most difficult book, to me, to get through in reading the Bible through in year—19:18 after an explanation of how to treat your ‘neighbor’ says, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” Several verses later in verses 33-34 it’s mentioned again, “When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.” Now don’t ask me why it always ends with “I am the Lord”—several of the verses do and I haven’t studied why, so moving right along… Leviticus is the only book that gives the command to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Then Jesus came—Love Himself—in physical form in the New Testament. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all give the same answer to the question, “What is the greatest commandment?” and “How do I inherit eternal life?”: in simple terms, Love God with absolutely all that you are—heart, soul, strength, mind…EVERYTHING—and love your neighbor as yourself. If you follow those two, the other commands are bi-products.
I know, it sounds—or looks really—like I’m rambling… maybe… BUT
Just like you can’t have the New Testament without the Old Testament, how do you love your neighbor without loving yourself? How do you love yourself without knowing Love Himself and the love He has for you? In John before Jesus tells Peter that he’s going to deny him, he leaves the disciples with a new commandment, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Jesus reiterates it again after introducing this new commandment a couple “chapters”—we know Jesus didn’t speak in chapters lol—later in John 15:12, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” This chapter is bursting with His love! He had to get the point across to his disciples! The disciples at this point has spent lots of time with Jesus, doing life with Him, so when Jesus said “just as I have loved you” they new what that meant and yet they still didn’t know that they were soon going to witness the biggest act of love history would ever see. But y’all, knowing how Jesus loved them was the precursor to being able to love one another… being able to love their neighbor. Jesus lived love before them, He displayed His love for them, for humanity SO THAT they could know what love looked like—love in action. Before we can love our neighbor as ourselves, before we can love others as He has and does love us, we have to love ourselves and, therefore, we have to know His love for us. We can’t put the cart before the horse, or we will continue to royally screw up loving our neighbor. We just blend in… and that’s not what we’re called to do. Love is what makes us stand out—“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
This has been heavy on my heart over the last several weeks. However, the seed that took root came from a journey that started April 3rd of this year… a daily journey that was called “Learning to Love Me”. Every day, God had me write a Reason to Love myself. So many times we know in our minds that God loves us, but when we get to knowing in our hearts we sometimes question it. We live in a society of not good enough, not tall enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, just not enough. And yet at the same time, we’ve been swindled into thinking that to love you is to be selfish or arrogant or haughty… but that’s not love at all. The love chapter… 1 Corinthians 13:4-(the 1st sentence of) 8 gives us the definition of love… “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with he truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” If that’s how God—since He IS Love—thinks and feels about and towards us, why do we feel we it’s haughty to look at ourselves in the same manner? Instead, we listen to the lies media shouts and allow them to sink in… and then some call it humility. If God says I’m His beautiful daughter, child of the King, why listen to the lies of media? Shoot! They don’t know me!
Father, help us to see ourselves through Your eyes of truth, of love, of Your grace. Heal the heart wounds that have put scales over our eyes and blinded our vision to see truth. God help us to hear and obey and believe and trust and hope in and walk in YOUR truth and not the lies of media, of well-meaning family members, of enemies, and of any one else that has spoken words like daggers that have wounded our hearts. Give us the strength to confront our wounds that have been suppressed to avoid pain and swept under the rug. Teach us, Lord, what it is, Your vast, unconditional, incomparable, irrevocable, relentless love. You love us deep, God. Help us heart-know that… not just head-know. Bring restoration, peace, and healing, Father.
I’m going to step out on a limb and say this: you cannot love your neighbor, truly love your neighbor as we have been called to do until you love yourself; and you cannot love yourself until you know His love for you, until the jaded glasses are removed and replaced with truth. I’m also going to say that words are always easier said than done. No, I don’t have 5 steps to learning to love yourself. I don’t have 5 steps to knowing He loves you. Countless reasons? Absolutely! Does His love and how completely and deeply He loves me makes sense? Absolutely NOT. I won’t call God crazy, but you get the point. The cool thing is though… I don’t have to understand why He loves me… I won’t understand how. But there is a difference between understanding why and how and having all the answers to the questions and just simply knowing that just as much as I will never see or know what truly lies beneath the ocean’s surface into the great abyss, I will never be able to fully wrap my mind around the love He has for me, His love that makes the great abyss look like the kiddie pool at Schlitterbahn.
To love yourself is to truly get to know who you really are, not through your own eyes, but through His. We focus enough on our flaws and shortcomings… start seeking out the positive attributes in yourself, look for the gifts that God has placed in you. When you stop looking only at the negative, you’re able to see some light. You’re able to see Him more clearly, drawing closer to Him. And the closer you get to Him, the more He transforms you and those negative things that may very well be present can’t help but be transformed too.
In as many directions as I feel this went, take this: He loves you deep. Deeper than you can ever imagine, fathom, calculate, comprehend, understand. He love you because He love you because He loves you. We may not deserve it, but we are worth it. Accept it. Let it transform your entire being… the way you think, the way you feel, express, communicate, react, the way you live and love. Accept|walk in|live in His love, love you—wonderful, purposed, wanted, God-created you—so you can love others like He loves you.
Over & out. <3
Friday, September 18, 2015
Part of the Process: Running & Such.
[April 18, 2015]
Cheers to a bit of reading of a part of my journey! :)
After an unknown, but now diagnosed, continued battle with PCOS, I have lost 16 pounds, since January. My clothes are baggy. I'm in-between sizes. I'm still in Woman's World. BUT I'm doing it. I'm living my process... this journey God has me on. I am more determined than I have ever been, but that's a lot easier when you see the "fruits of your labor". I am challenging myself.
This morning, April 18, 2015. I did something I haven't done in 13 years. I ran. The last time I ran was at 12 years old on the soccer field, and I had asthma so it was always difficult and I'd have to stop frequently. There have been very few things that I have not been able to do because of being overweight, or "obese" as the BMI tells me. I've never cared to run. I've never cared to get on the 5K, 10K, 15K, half marathon, marathon running bandwagon. If anything, I've wanted to do a Color Run not for the running, but for the fun of having bright colors thrown at you! But last night, Kim messaged me saying she needed a run/walk buddy at 6am this Saturday morning. I told her, "I can walk like nobody's business, but running... eek." After going to bed just after 11:30, I woke up at 5:30am to meet her, Kelli, and Rennae at 5:50am to run/walk... probably the craziest thing I've done on a Saturday morning.
As much as I have fully disliked even the mere thought of running, today taught me so much. God showed up to run with me this morning. God used Kim as she encouraged me every step I took. She told me how "fabulous" I was doing and how I am "in so much better shape" than I think. She would keep pace with me even if it was slower than her usual. She would say, "45 seconds, you can do anything for just 45 seconds can't you?" "Just 30 seconds, you can do it for just 30 seconds." "You set the pace, and I'll match you." Kim is by no means God, but this morning as I was challenging myself to do something I've never done before and possibly feared, I did fearlessly because I knew there was someone right beside me the whole time who would match pace or challenge me beyond... She was Jesus' heart and voice to me this morning.
I walk/ran more than a 5K this morning. Towards the end of it, I would challenge myself just to run to the "black mailbox" and "just make it to the stop sign" and coach myself, "Okay legs, you think you can't make it but you can. In order for you to get a nap, you have to make it back to campus. Let's get going! Just make it to 210. Black mail box 210, we're coming for you!" I made it. And then something dawned on me. The last 3-4 weeks, God has had me on another leg of this journey. He's been working with me on timing and living in the present and learning to love myself. There has been a lesson or revelation around nearly every corner.
About a month and a half ago in my Group Counseling class, my classmate was presenting an art therapy technique. With our eyes closed, we had to position ourselves in how we felt currently in our lives, kind of an action pose. I was in a position of running full force ahead, but slightly looking back because I felt like there was a rubber band around my waist holding me back. We then had to pose in an image of how we wanted to feel and view ourselves. I positioned myself like a superhero, like Wonder Woman, with my head held high, feeling victorious and not defeated. Everyone opened their eyes. She explained the next assignment and lead us to different art stations. We had to portray first our first image/position in a set time and then our 2nd image (who we want to be and feel like).
I started drawing the first and began to break. I drew with all my heart and poured out all I had... art used to be one of my main forms of worship, so it was familiar and so very missed. It was evident the art therapy was working. I drew a runner with a huge yellow rubber band, seemingly coming from some unforeseen place, holding them back from what they felt was their calling. She called time once everyone's work of art was completed. We then started on the next image. I drew legs like unshakable pillars, hands firm at my waist. Only halfway up my torso would fit on the paper. It didn't matter how stable my upper body felt, it's the feeling of my feet are firmly planted and no matter what waves or storms may hit me, I may bend and sway, but my feet will not be moved. They are set. It was about 2 weeks later on a country drive with Mason I got a revelation of my first drawing: God is the band around my waist holding me, not back, but holding me in place in the present.
About a week or 2 later, I had this intense catharsis, or breakthrough, again, in my Group Counseling class. The night ended with tears and feeling overwhelmed. I texted my friend to pray for me and I went to bed. I talked to her the next day about what happened and another revelation... I cannot love my neighbor as myself, if I don't love myself, and if I don't love myself--the result of truly accepting the love and grace of God--I cannot truly love God with all I have, cause I don't have anything to fully love Him with! You can't truly love others while neglecting yourself and your own wounds that need tending to.
The next Saturday I said a prayer that has since changed my world... my mind, my heart, my life. From the moment my prayer ended, God started speaking to my heart, speaking in metaphors because that is how I communicate, understand, and process. He shows me how I'm always set on where I'm going, but on the way there, I completely lose the process. I get frustrated at stop signs, red lights, try to fly through yellow lights, and frustrated getting stuck behind slow cars, and that each of those in life are moments to allow God to work on what He needs to in you. Those are moments of awareness and learning opportunities, and they are necessary. He showed me how I'm always competing with everyone else on the road and how not only is it not a race about who finishes first, we don't even have the same destination. After many more analogies and metaphors about how my driving relates to my view of life, He says, "So many think speed limits are just suggestions. They are Me pacing you in your life. My speed for you isn't a suggestion, but guidance for safety. My speed limit seems slow, but not when it becomes your new normal. When you're only focused on where you're going, it doesn't matter what time you leave you adjust your own speed and miss the process. Be prepared, be aware and active in your present to be active and aware in your future."
From that day, I have been working on releasing the fears of not meeting expectations that I've put on myself, expectations I've inherited, and expectations I felt others put on me, so that I can focus on here and now and what God wants to do in me today. I've been working on being intentional in my relationship with Him and no longer allowing myself to be a victim of life. And through all of that, I've been learning to love me. All of that brings me back to running this morning. Where I have had more negative internal self-talk than positive, this morning was quite different. I self-evaluated. I noticed that my breathing during activity has never been as good as it was this morning. I noticed that my quads weren't hurting at all and all those blasted squats in Body Pump really were paying off. I noticed that I am withdrawing any cynical or sarcastic thoughts I've had towards the slow runners on the side of the road; running definitely does pull from different muscles. I noticed I was more self-encouraging than saying self-defeating thoughts.
Two weeks ago, it was my turn to lead in my Group Counseling class. My technique to use was Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). "REBT is an action-oriented psychotherapy that teaches individuals to identify, challenge, and replace their self-defeating thoughts and beliefs with healthier thoughts that promote emotional well-being and goal achievement." The thought behind REBT is that when a situation occurs, it isn't our thoughts that lead to actions, but rather specifically our irrational beliefs of ourselves. So, I've had the issue, as many, of negative self-talk and not seeing myself as Christ does or anyone else who thinks highly of me for that matter. And this is the therapy technique that I was selected to teach. I was breaking just reading the chapter! So, with having to teach this, I figured it wasn't in the least bit coincidental that this was the chapter I was chosen to lead in the season and current part of the journey I'm on.
With REBT, it is taught to confront the irrational belief, asking "Where is the proof that this belief of myself is true?" And then to dispute the irrational belief and replace it with a rational belief. That is what I needed to start doing. I cannot honestly say that I cannot run because (1) I have 2 working legs, for starters, and (2) God's Word in Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." That belief is irrational and can't stand as truth. But the cool thing is when you start loving yourself and seeing you through the eyes of Christ and not the eyes of past pains and false expectations and realize that He is the God who sees you right where you are (Genesis 16:13), you find you have far fewer irrational beliefs of yourself.
I can honestly say that I had zero negative thoughts or beliefs of myself about my first time running... but it also helped that Kim was feeding me truth the whole time. I can also honestly say that there were many times I felt like my shins, calves, and feet were going to break free and run home without me, leaving me on my knees. My hip flexors all the way down my legs are quite sore. I am feeling the presence of muscles I'm not sure I even knew came to class this morning! But in every season, pain is a part of the process. Soreness, whether literal or figurative, is a part of the process. Pain/soreness means that something has been and is being tested and has potential for growth, if allowed.
Am I out to be a runner now and sign up for every 5K+ that works with my calendar in a 30 minute radius? Absolutely not! haha! What I am out to do is be present in and enjoy this process and allow God to use running, if it is what He choses, to further grow me and strengthen me into the woman He has called and designed me to be.
I know this was incredibly long, so thank you for reading :). I hope it brings you hope, encouragement, and strength to continue on the journey where He has you. He sees you... right where you are. <3
"You Know Me"
[February 3, 2012]
I really was trying to focus on my Synthetic Analysis due tomorrow... that is until I turned on Bethel's new album, The Loft Sessions... "You Know Me"...well it's kinda wrecking me--joy, laughter, tears, awestruck. The song is all about God knowing us. The same God who hung the stars knows us, knows me, knows every detail... "Nothing is hidden from Your sight, where I go, You find me. You know every detail of my life, cause You are God and You don't miss a thing." Freight train and Mack truck all at the same time. HE KNOWS ME! Every bit of me, He knows. My hurts, my pains, my joys, what makes me laugh.. smile... what makes me heart smile. what makes me heart race... He knows me. Every detail. The same one who hung the stars and moves the sea... I'm not sure I've ever realized how huge it is to know and be known.
My mind goes to how we are the bride of Christ right? The image of Christ as the Bridegroom and the Church as the Bride... and how Christ gave and gives for His bride... Then to how the Ephesians says for husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her... Christ knew Her. But the thing is Christ is coming back for His bride... for those that make the attempt to reciprocate that love even though it can never compare or come close to the love He has for her. He's coming back for His bride who's heart is to know Him and know Him deeply. Well, as a woman I just get the image of how the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church... but the thing is... it is the bride's desire to reciprocate that love to Christ just as the wife desire's to reciprocate her love and desire to know him... know how he thinks... know how he feels... know what he needs... know him... spiritual reflects the physical. It's like the return of Christ is the wedding right? Well you don't wait until the wedding to get to know Him... No. "He'd say depart from me for I never KNEW you." You go through life with Christ. He's there in your valleys. He's there on the mountain. You express your joys and your pains. You leave no room for secrets even though you can't hide.
God intended that same relationship to happen here. On earth. The image of the relationship before the wedding. The getting to know. The importance of knowing and being known. The importance of taking the time to climb up mountains to the peak but then climb down into valleys... together.. regardless of how hard or easy it is. Jesus, the Bridegroom, doesn't rush you in His relationship with you but you commit to it and the time it takes to develop. You start at being in a spoon-fed relationship that progresses to the meat of the relationship... but if you try to jump immediately to the meat... there's complications because the development is incomplete that prepares you for the meat. You try chewing a steak with a mouth full of gums... and you'll wish you would have let your teeth grow in instead of forcing what you're not ready for.
I know this probably sounds all mixed up, but the thing is... God gives us these relationships or specifically the relationship He blesses you with to steward to get a realistic picture of the relationship of Christ and His bride. To show you what it is to live selflessly. To show you how to treat someone. To show you what love truly is... and what it isn't. To show you how important it is to KNOW someone... and not have the thought that you can even marry someone without taking the time to know them. Can't do it with Christ, why try with the physical reflection of that relationship?
But because the relationship between Christ and His bride came first THEN the physical reflected, it must stay in that order: Christ and you as His bride THEN your husband and you as his bride... or rather before you're married... the Know Period that really never ends because... I mean I'm always learning new things about Christ... never fails to amaze me! If there is anything I guess I really want to get across is this: Get to know HIM then get to know him... let it grow... unrushed.
Aside from my Bridegroom, if there is anyone that knows me it would be my best friend, Mason. You see, listening to this song, I get the image of Christ to me and how huge it is that He knows me. Then I get the image of Mas and how important it is to him to know me and be known by me, and how he does know me and continues to learn me. And I cry because I see the reflection of my relationship with Christ in our relationship... and how important it is to know... and to grow... and to reciprocate love in ways like taking the time to know... to be selfless. I cry because my Father never fails to amaze me... because he blessed me with such a man that reflects the love of Christ in a human way (in that he is human not Christ)... he's shown me what it looks like to want to know and take the time to do so. No he hasn't memorized me but no one knows me like he does... This is the relationship God gave me... gave us to steward... to be an example of Christ... and to further learn the love of Christ and apply it... not just to each other... but to... to everyone... because that's what we're called to do... to love... to be light... to be examples...
Maybe I'm goin in circles... maybe it makes sense...
Love Jesus. Know Him. Continue to get to know Him. Because until you do make the act towards Him of reciprocation... you can't truly steward a relationship that reflects yours.
What is your relationship with Christ reflecting?
Relationships take time... let them.
My Goal: to Know Him deeper... so that I may know him deeper... the crazy part is you can do them at the same time... but which you desire more is what changes whether or not proper development occurs...
Mind cleared.
[February 24, 2013]
So this is my confession for today… I'm not sure how long it'll be--status worthy or note worthy. Guess we'll find out.
It started off pretty well… free coffee from Race Trac with Mas followed by getting to church early and getting our weekly seats for us, Missy, and Juan. We had a guest speaker, Priscilla Shirer, who always has a timely God-word… this one from Luke where Simon spends all day fishing and ends the day catching nothing after working at it so hard… She used that to teach about taking a break from the stressful situation--washing your net--not to quit but to come back to it--you wouldn't wash your net with intention of quitting. In the mean time allowing Jesus to step into the situation--the boat--and use your stressful situation as a platform to teach from… and then to call you out deeper to where He is knowing He's the only one who can either change your situation or be your strength in the midst of it… regardless, trusting Him to go out into the deep where you have no control but He has the whole plan and purpose in His hands. Great, right? Well it was… haha.
From church we went for lunch at Panera (current fave) with our Villas (also our faves). I got my usual soup and sandwich. Still a pretty good day… well it about went down hill from there. Mas left to go get his tire fixed and get his final groomsman fitted. His experience was awful as he ended up at the car place for 2 hours therefore having to reschedule his fitting appointment. In the mean time I was at Panera working on a paper… indoors… while it's finally a beautiful 70 degrees here in Texas… after a 37 degree morning. The absolute last place I wanted to be was inside working on a paper followed by studying for a huge exam tomorrow that may just eat me alive… we'll see. [obviously I'm at "Note Worthy" now…] Mason eventually gets back.. I'm still working on my paper. We eventually leave to head back to my apartment for dinner. Blah blah blah *that's us eating dinner…
[Stepping onto today's personal soap box…]
Well… than we get into wedding talk. And well… so far that's been as overwhelming as it comes. The thing is… I am not a planner of big events. Give me a kids' camp or like the title of this.. give me a kids' party and it will be a blast! Your kids will have fun and leave on a sugar high that crashes in the car on the way home and you get to put your precious little ones to bed and happy ol' you gets to have a quiet night til one wakes up but still drowsy so no worries they'll fall asleep with you on the couch… with their glass of water they so desperately needed in the middle of their sleeping… [I just laughed too lol]. But yea… give me a children's party or camp and I'll join with them in the fun and make sure they leave with a goodie bag. But give me a black tie affair… organized elegance… to where people walk in and are in awe at how beautiful the space is with the lighting set just so and the right music and centerpieces and bows around chairs that will be thrown away 2.9 seconds after the event is over and you've got me stumped! Don't get me wrong… I'll dress to nines to go to such an event and I can hold my glass and myself just right… but be the person behind that and you've got this evening post-dinner… my first Bridal Breakdown.
You see guys, here's some Charis-honesty for the night… maybe for 2013…
I grew up with 4 brothers: uno, dos, tres, quatro (like the 4 bladed razors)… based on some psychologists theories--Alfred Adler's to be exact--the only girl/boy usually is the extreme of their gender. For instance, an only boy would be ultra masculine and the only girl would be ultra feminine… frills, bows, pink, and all. What ol' Alfred Adler didn't see coming was.. well… me. I had 4 brothers and from my memory and photo albums I was anything but ultra feminine. When you are in a male dominant home you want to fit it… or at least I did so I was on the tom boy side of the coin… mud… soccer… outdoors… wanted to so desperately mow the lawn and do yard work but my dad would never let me--ya know since he has 4 boys and all. It wasn't until my Dear Mr. Musick came along that ol' Sister Femininity even entered my realm of understanding. Of all the boys I had for best friends and played capture the flag with… none of them EVER made me feel like a lady. Ever. He came along and turned me into some pencil-skirt, heels wearing, classy woman. SURPRISE for every one who knew me growing up and SURPRISE for everyone who knows me now. My "struttin' my stuff" pre-Mason was either my "dressy" black velour track suit, pajamas to Walmart, or jeans flats and a decent dress shirt to church… I know: Sooo attractive. ;) Getting on to the point here…
The only "elegance" I possessed was the way I could make a paint brush move on a canvas. Or wear a dress for Homecoming or Prom… So now planning my own wedding I reach the point of frustration with 2 main things:
1). I'm a woman; wedding planning should be my pride and joy like my first born child or something. Ok, that's extreme… I tend to do that sometimes. It's supposed to be the absolute most exciting things where you have everything laid out and you know exactly what you want cause you've dreamed of it since you were a little girl… "in ribbons and curls"… (You're welcome Bob Carlisle for that "Butterfly Kisses" plug…). Well the whole fitting in with the boys thing… it wasn't a dream but a fantasy to be married one day… that some man would want to actually marry me. To the point that when Mason and I started dating I thought relationship were bright colored flowers and unicorns prancing under rainbows on clouds. Not only did the cloud evaporate into thin air, but fall came and the bright colors turned burnt orange--def not in the neon hues--and my unicorns fell over dead. I had to learn how to find the clouds in everyday situations.. that sunny clouds could still come even after a storm of dark clouds had passed. All that to say… it's been a huge frustration that that woman part of me never fully developed. I now know and advise getting a dress and eloping.
2). When I get overwhelmed or at least with wedding planning… it's like I know there's a boat-load of stuff to get done but it's so overwhelming it is equally paralyzing. And if you've ever been the least involved with a wedding or if you've just watched wedding shows you know a paralyzed bride is a hell-hole wedding. And that CANNOT be… cause I'm still woman enough to not want or allow a crap-show for a wedding! [And everyone says.. AMEN]
So with those 2 factors… Tonight I wasn't Bridezilla… but I had my first or first and a half Bridal Breakdown fully equipped with tears… ugly cries… emotions on the rise… verbal script of "Mas, even if it isn't I need you to tell me everything is going to be okay and it will all work out" through hyperventilating crying… feeling like a failure of a bride cause I'm not as on top of everything as a bride should be… and ending with the need to be held and held tightly. Oh and lots of "I'm sorry"s… and Mas (probably having reached his limit of woman emotion overload) saying "Okay. What do you want me to do." and my answer being… *anyone got a guess?* "I don't know! I just… I just need your help… I don't want to put it all on you!" You see ladies and gents, my amazing fiancé has this knack for decorating and such… we're pretty reversed on some things… but he can walk into an empty room and put it all together in his head with out having a tangible thing in his hand. It's like he's David Tutera or something… but younger… without the millions… better looking… and straight! It's incredible! And God sooo knew what He was doing when He gave him to me. However… I feel the need to be on top of everything cause I'm the bride and it's what I'm supposed to do… even though I don't even know everything I'm on top of! My breathing is back to normal pace and my eyes are nice and dry… the make-up is gone with the tons of salty water that were earlier released but I still look quite decent. But hey, this is from the side of the story some brides--or types of brides--don't tell… well guess what… You know it now!
So moral of the story... what I would rather be doing than writing papers and doing homework all the time:
-Actually enjoy days outdoors when there is beautiful weather in Texas in FEBRUARY.
-Spend time with my amazing fiance, that doesn't include stressfulness of wedding planning... but enjoying each other's company and time
-Sit out by the lake and read a good book... one that doesn't have to be read by coercion or requirement
-Take a breather and not feel guilty for it cause there's a million-and-1 other things that could be getting done
-Have the time to clean my room and not pass out on the couch from the days exhaustion...
-Have a great convo of random but great things with my PeeWee
-Doing some community service
-Catching up with my sister, Michelle
-Going down to Austin to visit my best friend from high school and meet her daughter that in 2 years I haven't gotten to meet and we're 4 hours apart
-I want to write because it's a gift and I love to do it... but not papers. I want to write what I feel and write what God puts on my heart.
I know... such lofty thoughts... oh well. Maybe the week after May 25... hallelujah 90 more days. :)
And there ya have it… my honest note for the year.
Signed,
A Kids' Party Planning Wedding Planner
PS. There's a whole lot more amazing to this man [Mason Musick] that no one truly knows... I'm understatingly blessed to know...
PPS... This isn't my pity note... just my honest note. It's the best policy... or at least that's what I preach...
It's Been a While...
Well, it's been 4 years since I've written a blog post... that is except for the previous post I just posted that I found in my drafts. I also just figured out which email account was linked to here, so there 's that. Anyways, the next few|several posts will be old writings to current. I love writing, but not as much under pressure (haha) so I won't promise to post weekly, rather when something is on my heart... there a post will be. For now, that is all.
Over & Out.
Charis
Over & Out.
Charis
Beauty: Who is Your Beholder?
October 10, 2011
As a woman in the United States of America, I can honestly say that we have been plagued with insecurity and a misunderstanding of beauty. The most common cliché in pertinence to this subject is, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” and to which I would agree… for the most part. The problem with this statement, however, is who is our beholder? Who is this person so well deserving of defining the element of beauty? In my own understanding, the issue isn’t who the beholder is, but rather who we place in the blank. In our culture, we have given the undeserving honor to magazines and men and the people around us to determine whether or not we are beautiful. Some people say we are and some say we aren’t. Some see the outward and some go deep enough to see a beautiful heart, one which radiates through every area of life—the latter being my goal. But my dear friends, this conditional cliché lies true when the beholder is my God, the One in whom all beauty is defined, the only One worthy and eligible of being given such a place in our lives to convince us of this conditional truth. When the beholder is God, “Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder.” First Samuel 16:7, in my honest opinion, has become a Christian cliché for its frequency in being quoted but its lack of being believed.
But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already
eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks
into the heart." (The Message)
The version and part of the verse most quoted being, “Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.” Oh, if we would only believe it, ladies and gentlemen—yes, men too… we all have issues! I love the way The Message puts it, because sometimes we need scripture in layman’s terms. So many times we look at others or even ourselves and immediately judge based on the outward, and though this could go into many other conversations and writings on not judging for the lack of knowing the past and present of another’s life, I’m speaking in the context of beauty. We are so quick to look at a person and say, “Wow! She is just beautiful!” when her heart is black as tar! Then we look at the girl who seemingly pales in comparison and say, “Good grief! Bless her heart; she clearly couldn’t find anything better to wear” –key word being wear. We have falsely judged that girl by being the man God’s talking about in First Samuel, equating beauty with what she’s wearing.
If we place God as the base-keeper of being the Beholder, when we are given a compliment like the one I received this morning we can say, “Yes” not in being prideful, cocky, or conceited, but rather, in confidence that you know and believe God’s image and perception of you—beauty as a heart condition, beautiful as a reflection of the condition. Now, I am not saying don’t compliment people if you don’t know the condition of their heart. When you say to another, “You are beautiful,” seeing passed what they should or should not be, are or are not wearing based on what we have been taught to think and perceive in the nature of man and culture of America, it speaks in one accord with the Word of God, therefore building them up not tearing them down. On the same hand, we have to learn to build ourselves up too, not based on what we are wearing or what we look like on a particular day, but by the knowledge and understanding of what God says through His Word and sees through His eyes of love and grace.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me; this is a dual-sided life-long lesson. By understanding that God is the Ultimate Beholder and with a heart-based perception of beauty, that does NOT mean dress like a bum or carry yourself in such a manner. Matthew 6, I don’t think, was saying if you’re going on an interview where holey jeans and a dirty t-shirt; or it doesn’t matter what you look like, at the end of the day as long as you have clothes on you’re fine. On the contrary!—in my personal opinion, of course. If there is anything I’ve learned in the past two years, one would be that the way you dress and carry yourself does matter. One who is professional carries AND dresses himself (in general, not gender specific) as such. One who is an evangelist carries and dresses himself as such. Well, what if I don’t want to be a professional something or an evangelist? Do you plan on having a job? Do you want to give off the perception that you don’t care about yourself? Heck, do you want to get married?! The way you dress and carry yourself is equivalent to putting on deodorant before you leave every morning. Some things do enhance your beauty. If you have to paint the barn (ladies you know what I mean… and some of you men too), then so be it; take care of business… or just yourself, in this instance. A nice coat of paint never hurt anyone (haha… yes, I’m laughing at myself). Or maybe that means wake up with a little more time to do (brush, curl, straighten, etc.) your hair. Hey! It could mean wake up with more time than to just hop out of bed, slide on some shoes, and run out the door. You know what it means.
This ended up being much longer than I anticipated or than I thought I had words. But all I’m saying if abbreviated is this: let God be your beholder… but check your heart—‘cause if it’s ugly… well… hello!; (if you pass the test) believe you are beautiful; don’t judge others’ beauty or seeming lack-there-of on what they may look like that day; and lastly, take care of yourself—you are worth the beauty God beholds in you. Knowing and believing how He sees you not only changes the way others see you, but you’ll feel better too. I’m learning…
[Climbing off my high horse.] :)
beau·ty /ˈbyu ti / [byoo-tee] noun, plural -ties. 1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest). 2. a beautiful person, especially a woman.This morning as I was leaving class, one of my professors complimented me, “You look very pretty today.” “Thank you,” I naturally replied. However, that wasn’t the end of the conversation. Her follow-up response was, “You are a very beautiful lady. You do know that?” Out of her sight, I stood at the door-way and pondered the question, also naturally. “I’m learning,” I responded after thinking about what I was going to say. You see, I answered that way because, well… I am learning. I’m learning what beauty truly is. As women, especially in my generation, we have taken on a tainted definition of beauty, therefore, becoming unbalanced in our thinking. There are ladies that go over the top in preparation for their day, putting on an unrecognizable mask—under the impression that true beauty is only outward—where they don’t even look like themselves anymore; to the ladies who go au naturale with the mindset that the outward doesn’t matter at all; and it’s only the inside that counts. The problem with both ends is both impressions are unbalanced. Beauty starts on the inside but reflects on the outside. If we spoke in the truest sense of beauty, if you saw a woman who never did her hair or never even cracked a smile on her face, I’m pretty sure that first thing that would come to mind wouldn’t be, “Oh my! She is just beautiful!” Now, maybe I’m looking at the outside and unbalanced in my thinking, like I said, I, too, am learning. But I know that wouldn’t be my first thought.
As a woman in the United States of America, I can honestly say that we have been plagued with insecurity and a misunderstanding of beauty. The most common cliché in pertinence to this subject is, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” and to which I would agree… for the most part. The problem with this statement, however, is who is our beholder? Who is this person so well deserving of defining the element of beauty? In my own understanding, the issue isn’t who the beholder is, but rather who we place in the blank. In our culture, we have given the undeserving honor to magazines and men and the people around us to determine whether or not we are beautiful. Some people say we are and some say we aren’t. Some see the outward and some go deep enough to see a beautiful heart, one which radiates through every area of life—the latter being my goal. But my dear friends, this conditional cliché lies true when the beholder is my God, the One in whom all beauty is defined, the only One worthy and eligible of being given such a place in our lives to convince us of this conditional truth. When the beholder is God, “Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder.” First Samuel 16:7, in my honest opinion, has become a Christian cliché for its frequency in being quoted but its lack of being believed.
But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already
eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks
into the heart." (The Message)
The version and part of the verse most quoted being, “Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.” Oh, if we would only believe it, ladies and gentlemen—yes, men too… we all have issues! I love the way The Message puts it, because sometimes we need scripture in layman’s terms. So many times we look at others or even ourselves and immediately judge based on the outward, and though this could go into many other conversations and writings on not judging for the lack of knowing the past and present of another’s life, I’m speaking in the context of beauty. We are so quick to look at a person and say, “Wow! She is just beautiful!” when her heart is black as tar! Then we look at the girl who seemingly pales in comparison and say, “Good grief! Bless her heart; she clearly couldn’t find anything better to wear” –key word being wear. We have falsely judged that girl by being the man God’s talking about in First Samuel, equating beauty with what she’s wearing.
If we place God as the base-keeper of being the Beholder, when we are given a compliment like the one I received this morning we can say, “Yes” not in being prideful, cocky, or conceited, but rather, in confidence that you know and believe God’s image and perception of you—beauty as a heart condition, beautiful as a reflection of the condition. Now, I am not saying don’t compliment people if you don’t know the condition of their heart. When you say to another, “You are beautiful,” seeing passed what they should or should not be, are or are not wearing based on what we have been taught to think and perceive in the nature of man and culture of America, it speaks in one accord with the Word of God, therefore building them up not tearing them down. On the same hand, we have to learn to build ourselves up too, not based on what we are wearing or what we look like on a particular day, but by the knowledge and understanding of what God says through His Word and sees through His eyes of love and grace.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me; this is a dual-sided life-long lesson. By understanding that God is the Ultimate Beholder and with a heart-based perception of beauty, that does NOT mean dress like a bum or carry yourself in such a manner. Matthew 6, I don’t think, was saying if you’re going on an interview where holey jeans and a dirty t-shirt; or it doesn’t matter what you look like, at the end of the day as long as you have clothes on you’re fine. On the contrary!—in my personal opinion, of course. If there is anything I’ve learned in the past two years, one would be that the way you dress and carry yourself does matter. One who is professional carries AND dresses himself (in general, not gender specific) as such. One who is an evangelist carries and dresses himself as such. Well, what if I don’t want to be a professional something or an evangelist? Do you plan on having a job? Do you want to give off the perception that you don’t care about yourself? Heck, do you want to get married?! The way you dress and carry yourself is equivalent to putting on deodorant before you leave every morning. Some things do enhance your beauty. If you have to paint the barn (ladies you know what I mean… and some of you men too), then so be it; take care of business… or just yourself, in this instance. A nice coat of paint never hurt anyone (haha… yes, I’m laughing at myself). Or maybe that means wake up with a little more time to do (brush, curl, straighten, etc.) your hair. Hey! It could mean wake up with more time than to just hop out of bed, slide on some shoes, and run out the door. You know what it means.
This ended up being much longer than I anticipated or than I thought I had words. But all I’m saying if abbreviated is this: let God be your beholder… but check your heart—‘cause if it’s ugly… well… hello!; (if you pass the test) believe you are beautiful; don’t judge others’ beauty or seeming lack-there-of on what they may look like that day; and lastly, take care of yourself—you are worth the beauty God beholds in you. Knowing and believing how He sees you not only changes the way others see you, but you’ll feel better too. I’m learning…
[Climbing off my high horse.] :)
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Changing THEN by changing NOW.
"Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord." Jeremiah 9:23-24
My YouVersion devotion talked about how when it comes to people we tend to admire strength and power, human wisdom, wealth and riches, and kindness. Well, it went on to say, "But God puts a higher priority on knowing him personally and living a life that reflects his justice and righteousness." The last thing it says is a posed question: What do you want people to admire most about you? The question really made me think. First, what does admire by definition mean?
- to regard with pleasure or approval
- to respect
- to look upon in a particular way
- to respect
- to look at
- to concern
So reigning in thoughts, keeping them on the smaller scale grid of 'what do I want to be admired for' now and not to the outside far edges of the grid of 'leaving a legacy,' and what do I want to be admired, respected, or remembered for is quite a task as I have and am continually learning that though THEN matters, NOW is very important for the simple thought that my THEN depends on my NOW-- THEN is effected by what I do NOW. [Run-on sentence or just really long? Who knows...]
Nevertheless, I shall answer the question. FINALLY. I want to be admired for the everyday small things, like finding joy in storms... smiling even when life is hard. I want to be admired for having an unshakable faith and a trust in God that withstands trials and hardships. I want to be admired for genuinely loving and caring for not only those who have captured my heart or he my heart loves deepest aside from my heavenly Father but for people in general, for taking the time to care for people. I want to be respected for being a gracious, confident woman who desires not to make anyone ever feel inferior but to encourage others to their own discovery of self-confidence. I want to be respected for never giving up, for falling and standing back up, for standing for what I believe in. But most of all I want people to admire me for having a heart that longs to please the heart of my Father by living life day to day pointing others to the ultimate reason for smiling, loving, laughing, for longing to make His heart smile. But even more I want to be moved by what moves Him, to be in sync.
Now, by no means has all of this has been attained but it is attainable. An opportunity has been made available to set goals, to change mindsets, to decide to change and alter THEN by changing NOW. Life happens a day at a time which consists of life changing moments second to second, minute to minute, and hour to hour. To be admired, one must be admirable. To be admirable, one must be willing at times to change and make a change. :)
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