It's crazy how with every moment, every split second life changes. Our very decisions, plans, thoughts can all be altered in the blink of an eye. One moment we're taking a picture, smiles on every face in the room, 2 on computers, eating breakfast, doing life. And in the panicked surprise she yells for her husband from the computer. The news displayed on the screen turns just about every dry eye into pools of sadness over the loss of a close friend's young son, for thirty isn't by any means figured as the average life expectancy of males here in America. What once was a joyous occasion simply celebrating friendship and the blessings that follow oh so quickly turns into one of celebrating the life of an old friend, however, not as joyous as the previous. Tears overflowing, wondering minds, grieving hearts; these are what consumed the current "happening" as I witnessed the care of an old friend running to aid and cradle the heart of the mother who lost a beloved son. How heart-wrenching it must be to bury your child. Gentle with words she had to be as she had to be the strongest of the two over the telephone. No words are there to truly comfort in this state of overwhelming sadness and question. But as I sit there, the oh so common dilemma of how to comfort those involved takes over, over-ruling every thought previously occupying the spaces in my mind. What do I do? What do I say? No one ever really anticipates the mode of comfort they will cling to or really they can't. People are different. Some want you to just listen and be. Some want responses, answers. But what will I do? I truly believe that people, for the most part, genuinely have good intentions but unfortunately the little flapper that rarely really rests between the lips, also known as a tongue, more times than not tends to get us in trouble. We try to say what we mean and many times it goes over like a lead balloon... and the little "rudder" has us trying to dig ourselves out of the hole our tongue got us into. So especially in a situation like the passing of a friend's family member or a friend or really the whole realm in general, sometimes the worst thing to do is open your mouth.
After sitting long enough to contemplate how best to be there for them, I resulted to the love language of physical touch. No matter where you're from sometimes nothing says "I'm here for you" more when you're grieving than a hug that conveys all that needs to be said and heard. Hold them close enough to feel their heart cry... the best physical comfort. Embraces of love sometimes override smooth words or the attempt of. If only there was some sort of fool proof guidebook for comforting... Comforting 101... Comforting for Dummies... 5 Easy Steps to Comforting... I mean there's one for everything else! Now are they all legit and actually work? Eh... probably not.
Nevertheless, just as people change, so does life... with every breath. Love deeply and truly. Show it. Tell them. Laugh from the gut, wholeheartedly... laughter beats Vicodin! haha Ok maybe not but it ease the pressures of the heart and of life sometimes. The best way to learn the how-to's of those in your life is to observe, take notice, and get to know them. Live in and by truth everyday. Be true to you and to others. Be real. Let others get to know you. Be there for others not just co-exist. Life's too short to waste it being fake or a replica, a copy of someone else, too short to not smile. Love in word and deed; without action it's just cliche and "talk is cheap." :)
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